Nauko's Scrapbook

A Word's Value

2009-02-16T15:33:00.000-08:00

We're now talking about words. Yes words. Words are made to hold even the heaviest things in earth.
Word is a valuable thing by default. But on due time, a word's value may either increase or decrease depending how a person can handle
the words he/she hold.
A word was meant for someone's integrity. Sometimes a word can get someone's trust up to the most important matters.
But sometimes, words are also made to be broken... In certain matters;

~ Truth vs Lie
Either you tell both, it still tells either if you're a trusted person or a person who likes to cover things to avoid pain for others.
However, in my own aspect; lying is bad regardless your purpose. Black or white, considering its a lie its not reasonable and good especially in a relationship.
No matter how painful the word you can bring out on a person, its rather you tell the truth rather than telling a sweet coated lie.
Depending on its infliction of pain; Telling the truth is an instantaneous way of inflicting pain unto others. On the other hand, lies are made not that
painful, at first. But as the times goes by... when you figured out that lie from a friend or whoever lied on you. The pain is REALLY agonizing and yes,
the longer pain you will feel... Lies are more painful than you all think. And thus it also leave scars.

And yes, that was based on my experience. I remember way back then, there is a friend of mine here in Ragnaboards. She supposedly the one I trusted so much that I even
tell her stuffs than the usual. Not till that very day, when she actually done something really bad that actually cause a major damage for me and an another friend of mine.
Yes, because of her post way back from ragnaboards, she got me and my friend ruined in misunderstanding. And yes, I confronted her straight on the eyes.
I never usually confront people this way, but yes I did it because of my concern reaches on its serious point. I tried talking to her and her "back fight move"
Whereas she posted as an anonymous individual, she disguises as someone else. And yes, after I confronted her, she still keeps denying all her acts and even that back fighter
persona of hers. <_<

But then again, no matter how she lied. Me myself figure it out. XD Well for some weird reasons I am quite good in investigating people by judging their speech patterns.
And also their interests, psychology etc. Makes me find out an EPIC proof that she and that back fighter is one. First was, she and her back fighter persona has both the
typo problems and grammar patterns. Plus they both got same interest towards horror stuffs. Last but not the least, the pic that she sometimes showed to me that actually piques
her interest. Happened to be her signature (her back fighter persona) in ragnaboards. And also, I've consulted people and even an RB moderator for it.
And yes, speech pattern and all. Does tell that she is a big liar.

And due to that lie, no matter how prestige or "noble" person she is in ragnaboards. Eventually I lose my trust on her. ._.
the fact that she lied and yes she FAILED. I swear everyone about this, when you all are planning to lie over a person, make sure no one can figure it out.
Else, never lie on a person who is smart enough that can actually figure all your lies out. <_<
And really, I might tell lots of things about her. Its just that... Agh... I might just get off the topic. DX

But yes, to keep this short. If you want a person to give you trust. Never lie on him/her even you might say the worst things.

~ Broken Promises
Promises are made to be broken. Well that's a proper quote nowadays... DX But no... When you leave a promise, you must also know how to mark your word.
Promises are also made just to gain trust for someone, not to degrade self from other's disappointments I say. And in my opinion,
I am a person who hate people who can never fulfill what he settled himself to. When you say a word, mark it and take actions to prove it.
Someone's word can be valuable if you can make the words you utter move making what you said a possible thing.
but I don't know, why people always make promises but they themselves never fulfill what they say. Isn't it dishonorable right?

A point of advice. Before leaving a single word or promise. Think about this; Can you ever fulfill that promise/s no matter what it takes? Is that promise/s possible?
Can you even take responsibility to it more than an obligation? If you are not sure about this. Never EVER leave a single word. If you do, it will be just an another
demerit on your trust points. And yes, making a person assume over nothing is more than disappointing. Its dishonorable that even a samurai will perform hara kiri because of such failure.
Lol, well that's true. Makes me remember how a samurai vows on his philosophy in life as a true warrior. XD

Promises are meant like that. In if hara kiri is a way of punishing people who can't mark their words. I swear I know some certain people who will die as early as dawn. *sarcasm*

~ Sorry as a Promise
The usual where people loses the value of their words. Well I consider the word; "‭Nobody is perfect, human tend to commit mistakes etc..." But STILL, its is not a good excuse for repeating your failures.
One, two or three failures at a time is enough. Your "sorry" will be pardoned. But if you keep on saying "sorry" but still committing continuous and consecutive SAME mistakes.
What can you call on that person? A moron? Or a person who is just way to stubborn to listen. But in general, that's a person who doesn't even know the true meaning of Sorry.
Sorry is an ask of forgiveness not an excuse of a failure.

Saying sorry isn't just about asking forgiveness from someone you hurted or inflicted the pain that you made. sorry is also a way of saying "I will never do this same thing ever again.".
An ask for pardon must be done wholeheartedly. And when we say wholeheartedly, its just about saying it at a sweetest day or bring a pardon gift or whatsoever,
Asking sorry is more about a declaration of asking forgiveness which pertains of refusing to make mistakes happen repeatedly.

Well yes we're all humans. We commit mistakes. But that's not an excuse for us to be an arrogant ignorant to accept ourselves as a miserable pile of failures. XD
We commit mistakes, we face failures, but we can prevent it. Facing the failure itself gives us the resistance and experience to know what to do in case same encounters might happen.
We get failures, its a natural matter. But don't make yourselves live with it.

~ Words better left Unsaid
There are these words better left unsaid. Words that seemingly beautiful and flattering. But no matter how wonderful words you say. Words are just words.
I know this may come a contrary in the topic. But, words are also important. Not on according to what you can say. Not every words you utter will happen in a flash.
Each and every words must come with corresponding actions. Words with no actions are nothing but a bull shit. (sorry about the word)
No matter how wonderful the words could be, A WORD IS NO VALUE WITHOUT AN ACTION. Words are merely an incantation of a magic spell. A real magic comes from the caster's power and effort of making something out of nothing.

Like for a lover, no matter how many and how sweet are the words you leave. They are nothing but sweet nothings. Sweet nothings alone can never make someone you love live for it.
As a lover, you must also know how to withhold your word like a promise. If you say "Susungkitin ko ang mga bituin sa langit" (meaning: I will catch the stars from the sky)
You must know how to prove your words. Crud... I know that's a one cheesy quote, but I really hate that. <_< style="font-style: italic;">a way of making someone disappointed.
Or either, instead of making those all so impossible things which you can't. You'd rather say it best, when you say nothing at all. XD

My list for most unbeatable things

2009-02-07T10:07:00.000-08:00

There are times that crucial things happen. That is where you encounter things that you can't ever defeat. Like some bad habits or just a simple misfortune in a scenario.
That is where you can do anything to it other than doing some alternatives or what so ever. >_<
And yes, I have faced lots of those stuffs eversince... DX
And here are some things I have already encountered in life where I just surrendered. XD

1. Procrastination - Err... My very most ebil habit. Err... Lets just say profession for a good term. XD Procrastination is a course whereas the coverage of the course outline focuses on giving the most rational alibis and reasons for you not to perform certain task. It will keep you on saying and doing things on the next term then if that term comes, extension is always there. DX Yes, I really hate this, but procrastination is something I graduated eversince.

2. Lag - For each and every professional player, Lag is the most unbeatable player among everything. DX I have experience LOTS of lags like back from ragnarok, O2jam and even Grand Chase. Yes. Lag makes a pro an even worse player than a circle nine dumb. And funny that I remembered a time that I failed breaking an emperium just because of a simple lag-DC. DX crud... surely pains like hell...

3. Roaches - I guess... I dunno really, but roaches kinda freak me out... I remembered the last time I beaten a roach by crushing his head. And duh... The roach has still the guts to crawl over the kitchen. And yes, I also remembered a video where a roach was putted inside the microwave oven. DX And yes, roach is still ALIVE!!! Geez... And even some sources says that Roaches has the greatest resistance that they can even stand a nuclear explosion. DX

4. Obsession - For me, obsession is one of the hardest thing for me to overcome. Like something that I crave and even things that I like. Nowadays, I've been too addicted drinking Strawberry Milkshake and yes, I've been drinking the same drink for DAYS! And tendencies that when I get obsessed over a thing, the more I get hooked on whatever it is. DX One thing I can never beat in my life.

5. Chain Fate Syndrome - the worst thing I guess. This is a phenomena for me where I actually entered someone's life. And if that happens, that person's life changes drastically. Or even sometimes, I tend to bring a huge influence over the person. Good that that the Procrastination thingy doesn't always came from me. XD Well yes, people you all have to admit that you're all lazy too. Hahahah... Don't blame me for changing your lives lol! But yes, one simple example is the Strawberry Milkshake thingy, I dunno if its just me or what but the time I started buying strawberry milkshake on the store... After that time, people ordered more strawberry milkshakes that even nothing left for me. DX Sob... But yes, Chain Fate syndrome, its is a chain reaction where someone with the name Nauko enters in your life, your life will change radically in many different ways. XD

Its true folks. I change people fate I guess. I even make people meet another even its very impossible.
But yes, I don't know... Fate is really unbeatable... Same with this power that I have... God Mode? No... Its just something I can never explain...

February: The Love Month

2009-02-02T09:07:00.000-08:00

Today is February~ And yes, the month of love.
Where couples date with each other and stuff... <_<

And yes, after I edited this post due to posting a picture~ This post have been partly destroyed. @_@
Sorry for being out of topic.
Good Thing that I somewhat recovered the document~

So yeah~ Here it is some love guidelines for a relationship. Based on my experience. XD
Hope this can help~ For future couples or even for people who assume to have one.

~ First, Love isn't just about winning someone's love.
For an example, you were a guy. And like a particular gal outhere. In general you will be doing anything just to get the girl that you want right?
Then what happened? So yes this girl gives you a "yes" and you too become a couple.
But then again, its not yet a happily ever after for you. There are other things you must consider before taking your relationship easy.
Love isn't just you two become a couple and mushy to each other. Or winning someone's love for you either.

Love that is taken is also needed to be maintained. Not with those precious things you can buy, but also the fact that love grows due in time.
The more time you give to it, the more your heart become valuable towards a person.
Yes, lets say one also of the most complicated issues in life is Time.

Aside for those, Love must be always maintained no matter what. Even your relationship has gone old more than a year or two.
That doesn't mean that it is okay to be laid back about your relationship.
Despite that, lets say that your relationship went that long by years.
But what's even the use of that prolonged relationship if nothing have grown to each other.

What I want to point out is. A prolonged relationship is useless, if the relationship is not well maintained.
Maintained in a way, when someone actually needs reassurance.
And yes, Loyalty issues. Reassurance is always a must.

~ Love isn't just about getting intimate to each other.
Some people said that a kiss, hug and even doing those mushy things including the... ahem thingy is a way of showing love and bonding to each other's souls.
Think again people, we're talking about love and not lust. <_< style="font-style: italic;">limits.
And since the woman disagrees, the man tends to get disappointed. And misunderstands the situation. DX
And thus it ended up that way.

To say things about this. Love is a mutual action. Don't force someone to do that is out of his/her line.
And yes, doing intimate things isn't just a way of showing love.
Other than words, the way how you show respect and care towards a person is more than love.
So this is the question, one example; if you really ought to do that on your woman, does that even show care and/or respect? Have you ever thought about the risks after your actions? Think about it.

~ Love isn't just about the time you've been together, its about how precious your times being together.
Many people expects relationships like a wine, the longer it been the sweeter it become.
Yes it is, but not everything applies. It still depends on the ingredients you put to make your wine.
If you picked a not well ripe grape, wine will be more bitter. If you picked a rotten grape, same thing goes the wine will never taste good at all.

The point is. Despite how long a relationship could be. What makes it important is the moments you two have been together.
The things that you both done to each other, both good and bad.
And yet sometimes, a bad memory may spoil a relationship. Depending on the intensity, how is it painful and the aftermath.

So yeah, in a relationship. Never EVER give someone a scar in their heart.
Heart isn't easily to get healed. No matter even they forgive you or something. But deep inside the pain is still there.
Like a mirror that is shattered into pieces, no matter how you try to bring it back. Things will never go the same anymore...
So as much as possible, in a relationship both sides must be careful to each other; in words and in actions.

Even you all say that love do always forgive, or if a person really loves you he/she will forgives you no matter what.
It still depends over the things that you done. And yes, last but not the least saying sorry but doing same mistakes over and over again does count too.
One another reasons why some relationships breaking down.

~ Last but not the least, true love is not a fairy tale.
Like what I said from the start. Winning his/her love isn't a happily ever after.
Its just a start, a start of getting to know each other's bests and worsts. You can't just assume over the one you love as your perfect soul mate or your dream boy/girl.
You have to consider that sometime you will figure out his/her down side. And yes, you have to accept it.
Love is acceptance at all cost. But still there is a limit.

Limit is that, yes love is accepting you as a whole. Even your worst stuff, but that doesn't mean that you have to take things easy because he/she loves you for what you are.
You still have to change, especially if it can affect your life or your love one's life.
Yes, your love can accept you. But sometimes there is still the 'boiling point' for someone to snap off and get rid of you.
No matter how love must be unconditional, there are still the boundaries of temper.

One simple example; if you see yourself having the flaw like making promises but continuously not fulfilling such.
He/she might accept things especially if you have the reason of failing such expectation.
Even he/she think that she must never assume much from a relationship. But still, a promise is left a promises.
Promises are never made to be broken that is. <_< style="font-weight: bold;">human, they possess enough patience and yes a temper to keep up same with its limits. <_< style="font-style: italic;">unconditional love.

Oh wells, that's it~ enough this ranting rampage err I mean this guidelines stuff.
At least you all know now what are the do's and dont's in a relationship.
Hope this can help you all up even for a bit. ^__^

A Dream World that I made

2009-01-31T03:43:00.001-08:00

Makes me remember, way back from the past my mom always tell me things like how I act so weird and the latter.
She always tell me that I always act so exaggerated like an Anime Character.
And yes, the fact she sees how I act and react, dress up or even have my way of life like a living anime character. XD
There is her rants and even her encouragements for me to change my style. But still its me, yeah.
But no, me being anime like isn't just about my style.

I am not exactly up for making this world a living anime fandom. But... I am a person who wants to make my dream world.
Let's say, I am like a person with the world of my own. XD Weird ey?
But yes, in my case it is like when the world turns its back on you, then turn your back on the world.
Life is easy isn't it? If people won't accept you for what you are, what's the sense of changing?

It is true that we need to change. Especially the things that people don't like us to.
But why? I actually not finding it reasonable. Unless change is something for better.
Something like, we just change if some attribute that we have is bad, or that can cause harm for others.
But the latter, like things that cannot harm your fellow or has nothing to do with anything is just nothing but an extra.
And it is up to you if you will change it or not.

But at my case, people keep on dictating me things like; change your style, anime is for kids, games is not lady like, act more feminine, etc...
Well beforehand, I was an outcast. In school, at home, in the community. Where people just ignore me or even making names or do something harmful like insulting me.
Makes me remember my high school days, where my mom is actually angry about me picking a fight with some guy and kicked his groin. XD Yes its true.
Well its not my fault anyway, the guy have started it. Because he's continuously picking on me or even do some crazy things.
It just happened that there is a time that I snapped out and bring everything out on his poor future successors. He must be thankful that he wasn't become sterile after that tragic moment.

Well lets see, back on the topic. People tend to outcast me because of my weird antics, quirks or what you all call it.
Before, I was insecured... I do things to be accepted, like to follow advices etc... But still, things are the same. They already give me the bad impression at first afterall. And still they call me like "Baliw, Sira Ulo, Praning etc..."
Till the time I realized, despite my efforts to change. I still stand out in the crowd... People still picking up on me and its just getting worse.

Since then, I bring all back my original attributes. In a way, I just act as my normal weird self. ._.
Yes, they still do the same thing. But guess what, its just the same. But its better, for some weird reasons.
Because I can freely express my real self... And I start not minding people who call me weird...
And it doesn't matter if I have to make this Dream World of my own.

This Dream World that I have consists of more Online Friends and some few friends that I eventually meet in real life.
I want to admit, I've become more relied to my computer most likely.
That even a day that I can't get online, I feel like a fish struggling on the shore. lol~
And I am mostly online 24/7 in some online games and forums that I'm in.

And yes, my world in online is dream like. Something that I assume; family, friends, love...
The fact I cannot assume the best in my real life. But at least, in the dream world that I have...
Comparing to my real life, my family is very f-ed up there. DX Since I have separated parents and so on...
At least in my world in online, I have a far better family~ XD And yes, I have a husband and daughter ingame. And complete with father and the rest.
My online family consists of people who is very kind and willing to accept me just the way I am...

A dream world that I made in the internet. Makes me sometimes wonder, why those things cannot be for real? All I just want is to be accepted just the way I am...
Why do I really have to make my own world just to be accepted? DX
Gawd... This surely crazy... Because the fact that everytime I turn off my pc, lose my net or get a brown out on my electricity. I feel freaked out.

This dream like state I have, sometimes gives me a wishful thinking for things to stay always this way.....

Starting up, again.

2009-01-29T14:56:00.000-08:00

Blogging sometimes may cause a burden. DX
Errr... The fact for lazy people yes it is.
My plurk's karma just down more than 40 points and now I am having a hard time to bring it up geez... <_<

And yes, this blog have 'died' how many times.
I delete the entries and posted new ones again and again. .__.
Makes me a real certified slacker. lol~

But yes, I hope I can stop myself from this evil procrastination.
I really want blogging. But making an entry makes me lazy. XD

And since that I am busy with Grand Chase and other stuffs.
So I'm really losing my time posting here... DX